Youth
by bei3la1
Summary: Another look on Alec's first kiss, and how it started his life with Magnus.
1. First Kiss

_An alternative meeting for Alec and Magnus's second encounter. Apologies for the spelling and grammar errors, I will work harder to improve._

His First Kiss

They had meet at a party. Alec had been with Jace, Clary, and his sister. All of them accompanied by the new rat simon had filtered away from the party. Alec's ears buzzed a little, the noise of the music still played in the distance as they moved away from the Warlock's home. Magnus Bane, a name that now meant so much more to Alec. Alec stayed withdrawn from the rest of their group as he collected himself. The way Magnus had spoke to him and the way their eyes had brushed past one another made him un easy. Moving down the street he felt a strain in his chest. A tight feeling of urgency welled inside his chest and bubbled onto his skin. There had been so much glitter, so much so that a little had stuck to Alec's arms and clothes. As he looked at the blue sparkles now the knots grew, and his confusion swelled.

When they all returned to the Institution after a few or more mishaps Alec went to his room. He didn't do much, he liked to be alone in his own space, he like to sit on his bed and look outside at the window. Isabelle called it people watching and it was something that he had always been drawn to. Looking at others, seeing how they move so comfortable on the streets. Seeing the people move in their own individual way and seeing how they were comfortable in their own skin. But now he didn't feel like looking at the mundanes. No he didn't want to see them, be had bigger things going on. His mind was a wast ocean, and as he swam in it he surfaced on a fear that he was hoping to never have to deal with. Magnus, the warlock again resurfaced in his mind. All his life he had swam away from the idea of loving a boy, of falling for someone that his parent would scorn him for. For a minute he let his heart and mind wander freely. He wanted to be able to love someone, and be loved back. Alec wanted to be able to feel things and to live a life of intense feelings. He wanted to be able to tell someone what his life was and have them be part of it. Magnus, a boy who noticed him. But it wasn't just that, he was a boy that Alec's eyes had drawn to. A boy that had made his breath hitch for a second, a boy that scared the hell out of him.

In the privacy of his own room Alec let out a cry, it was soft and filled with anger. He wanted to be able to let his heart love, and be able to please his family at the same time. Sitting here on his bed he felt like rocks had been tied to his limbs. The world was pulling him down and all he could do was stay still and fall back onto his bed. As he lay flat on his back, looking at the ceiling, his eyes started to blur. Even though he was alone he didn't want to cry, he didn't want to feel his eyes water and his nose run. Blinking his eyes tightly together he made a decision. It was a decision he would have to make alone. He made the decision to try for Magnus, try for this boy and hope to steal his heart. Even thinking this made him feel weird, but it didn't matter, he needed to let his heart lead for a few moments in his life.

The day he found himself at Magnus doorstep was a day of emotional chaos. Alec didn't want to sound melodramatic, but he felt like a girl in a drama. Buzzing up at the boy of there dreams to see if maybe that boy would give them a chance. When he buzzed up he didn't know how scared he would be. The sound that that he created by pushing that button made him jump a little. But the sound didn't prepare him for what was next. Magnus himself appeared at the door to greet him. Magnus's hair was down and looked messy, his clothes were droopy and seemed to slid a little bit off his shoulders.

"Shadowhunter boy!" Magnus's voice was full of surprise and delight. Both of them smiled politely at each other, and for a second Alec just stood their.

"Hello. I'm Alexander Lightwood." That's all he said, words seemed to fall from his mind and every time he tried to speak he forgot how to open his own mouth.

"Did you need anything?" Magnus was a few inches taller than him and as he looked down at Alec, Alec felt smaller. Who was he to think he could be part of Magnus's life, Magnus was a star and he was just a dull rock floating by.

"I'm sorry for bothering you. But I wanted to…" But the words failed him. Alec felt the head running to his cheeks and he wanted, needed to run away. But his feet were stuck to the ground and no amount of angelic strength could move him. To his surprise Magnus laughed. Alec sucked in a breath as he watched the warlock smiled, teeth showing and eyes sparkling.

"Alexander are you okay?" Magnus asked him, the warlock moved one of his slender hands through his black hair. The strands feel around his hand and they looked at each other as Alec struggled to form his next sentence.

"I wanted to thank you. For saving my life." Alec finally said. But Magnus looked past him, he looked out into the city that raged with life. Alec saw an ancient look wash over Magnus's face. It was a look of experience and knowledge that left as soon as it came.

"A Lightwood thanking me. I never thought I would see the day." Again he was laughing to himself, leaving Alec to stand on the outside of a joke he wasn't apart of.

"Also I wanted to ask you on a date." The words flood out of his mouth so fast he couldn't stop them. When he looked at Magnus the expression on his face made him want to laugh. It was a mixture of confusion and a hangover.

"Did I hear that right?" Magnus asked, he comically lifted his fingers to his ears and cleaned them out.

"Yeah. I was thinking you flirted with me, and I've never dated anyone before so.." While Alec said these things he found himself digging his own grave. Magnus looked concerned and understanding, but it didn't matter because it wasn't what he had wanted.

"Alexander you have never been on a date before?" The question felt weird, or course he hadn't. He was a closeted gay asking the most glittery man out on a date. This wasn't something that he normally did and it felt so weird and out of character.

"No I haven't gotten the change." He told the warlock.

'Have you ever been kissed?" Magnus asked. This question made the heat rise to Alec's face. He was scared, no of course he hadn't been kissed before. Of course it had never happened.

"No."

"You such a child." Magus said. He walked a few steps closer to Alec and bend down. When their lips touched Alec almost screamed, he didn't understand what was happening. Magnus was close to him, his hand on Alec's arm. It was fast but not spoft. After a few seconds alec closed his eyes and his heart sored. Kissing Magnus was like touching a fire, hot and scary. Magnus pulled him inside. Alec didn't know where they were he just knew that he wanted to be closer. He wanted to touch Magnus's skin and be in Magnus's space. Alec found himself pushed against a wall, his body being pinned down by the other boys body. Magnus was so close to him, he could feel his heart beating, it was fast, just like his own. A shiver danced over Alec's skin as Magnus lifted his skirt. The warlocks slender hands moved under the fabric, they seemed to be feeling every inch of his body. Alec let out a sigh in the kiss and his own voice scared himself.

When they broke apart it hurt. Alec leaned forwards even when Magnus had stopped, looking for more. He didn't understand, they were so close and it made him crazy.

"Alexander you are so young, your first kiss." Magnus sighed and looked directly into Alec's eyes. "I want you to understand that something before we do anything more. I want you to know that youth is a never ending maze, that youth feels like being alone in a deep blue ocean. That what you are feeling and what I am feeling can be overwhelming. But also youth is fighting for what you believe in, youth is friendship, youth is freedom. I don't want you to waste your time me if you are not sure. I look young but I have books worth of experience written in my eyes. I don't want to burn you out, if we go on, we go on together or not at all." Magnus's eye had gotten warmer. They were both in the same space. Alec held his hands on Magnus hips, and for the first time in his life he was one hundred percent sure of what he wanted. What he needed.

"Together." He whispered, and leaned in. They kissed again, but not with urgency, it was light. Alec saw his future with Magnus in it, it was nerve racking, but if every moment was like this with Magnu, he couldn't live without him. But they had to get through their first date.

"Eight o'clock?" Magnus said. It shouldn't even have been a question.

"Sounds good." It took so much strength to moved apart from Magnus. Alecs breath was heavy as he walked away, he couldn't help but turn back and look at Magnus. Everytime he looked back, he saw Magnus, smiling and watching him go.

 _I hope you liked it. Leave me feedback for what the next chapter should be. Thank you._


	2. Midnight Light

When they both woke it was new, together they stayed, linking fingers and tangling legs. Waking up entangled with Magnus was normal now. It was a normal that he wasn't used to, it was a normal that scared him so badly, but it made him so happy. It had been a year cense their first kiss, it had been so reckless, and so new for Alec. The days after that he had felt loved for the first time in his life, he felt important. The love that Magnus gave to him wasn't something that a sister or brother could give, no when Magnus loved him it felt like a whole new world. Being able to hold someone when the day was in tangles, or being able to have someone touch your skin when you think you can't feel anything.

"Well you are up early." Magnus said to Alec. Alec had woken with up the loft with a scream in the night, the moon shone in through a curtained window and Alec's heart beat fast. The Chairman walked not the room, the cat looked angered and tired as it hopped onto the bed. Magnus's eyes were foggy and he looked stunned, his cat eyes glowing in the midnight light.

"I'm sorry. Nightmares." Alec said to him before he fell back into the covers. Magnus moved closer to him, long and slender, every limb in Magnus's body was elegant in its own way. Alec reached his hand out to touch Magnus's face, for a second they looked at each other. Magnus saw the ghost of fear drifting around in Alec's eyes, it made him un easy.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Magnus asked him softly. Another pause before the other one spoke.

"It was me growing old." He said, Alec's words hung in the air. Still and ugly, they both knew that the time would come. That time itself would chew at Alec's bones and make his ink black hair turn to white. But time would never though Magnus, not it would leave him the same, it would leave him behind to watch his boyfriend grow old.

"Age is only a number." Magnus said, but he felt it, the unknown time that they would have to spend, the unknown time that he would have with Alec.

"But when happens when I can't walk anymore? What happens when my skin sags and I can't remember your face? What happens when you stay the same and I have to grow without you?" It was only a second, but that was all Alec needed, his pain fell out of his lungs and into Magnus's ears.

"I love you no matter what." Magnus said to him. He reached out and touched Alec's hands.

"I love your hands, even if they stop working." Magnus bought Alec's hand up to his lips and kissed each finger.

"I love you checks, and I love your nose, eyes, skin, and lips." Magnus leaned in for a small kiss every time he spoke. Alec shut his eyes and waited for Magnus's lips to tough his own. The small amount of space, the distance between them, it felt like miles.

"It's to late tonight." Alec said his breath was heavy.

"Really?" Magnus said but Alec couldn't reply. Magnus had pulled himself on top of the other boy. His legs on each side of him, keeping him safe in-between him. They kisses. Alec reached up and pulled Magnus's hair and Magnus held Alec's face as they kissed. Magnus broke away for a second, pulling the covers over his head and he moved in-between Alec's legs. Alec let out a screech as Magnus touched him. His skin was on fire as Magnus's head bobbed and moved under the sheets.

"Really?' Alec almost screamed as Magnus stopped and taunted him from underneath.

"Ah Magnus!" Alec screeched.

"What?" Magnus said, his voice still muffled a little. But he come back from under the covers.

"I'm going to kill you!" Alec said as he hit the pillow.

"Well it is getting to late." Magnus said with a grin. He like to watch Alec squirm.

"I didn't even finish." Alec said disappointedly.

"Wops. Well you better do something about that because I'm tired and going to sleep good night." Magnus laugh to himself as he heard Alec grumble and move to the bathroom. Good luck, Magnus thought, as he shut his eyes and smiled as he imagined what Alec was doing in the bathroom.


End file.
